Setbacks and the Pain of Suffering – Quotes and Resources

Life seems to present varying degrees of setbacks and suffering.  While taking a brief walk outdoors between shinpan duties at the 2018 U.S. Junior Nationals Championships, I was moved when I saw a young boy in kendo gear hunched over, heaving and sobbing with a person – perhaps his father or coach – by his side.  He may have lost a match that he desperately wanted to win.  Jin Yong JO (조진용, 趙秦用) 先生, a member of the Korean team at the 2018 World Kendo Championships shared a similar experience after their loss to the Japan team in [Jo_KendoJidai].  A close friend suffered a concussion in a shiai with a rather physical opponent and many months of pain and down-time.  And, sadly, a kendo family with the Butokuden dojo in California lost a loved one, Arata Ogikubo, a little over a year ago.  He was struck by a car while riding a bicycle.

Who hasn’t experienced difficult events or times in life?   Who has never lost a match or failed an examination?  Who has never experienced a tragedy, the loss of a loved one, rejection by a significant other (person, school or employer), failure, financial loss, an accident, injury, illness, loneliness, depression, addiction or ____________ (please fill in the blank)?

The challenge for myself, those mentioned above and perhaps many others, is in dealing with such events and times.  Here are some quotes and resources (below) that I have found helpful in this regard.  The quotes also include a few from those I know or have met by chance. I will update this article as I come across additional quotes and resources.  Here’s the breakdown of the content:

  • Quotes
    • About Suffering
    • The Value of Suffering
    • The Source of Suffering
    • The Truth Behind Suffering
    • On Handling Suffering
    • On Healing
    • Surrendering vs. Giving Up – Distinctions
  • Resources
  • References

Notes:   If you ever feel moved to do so, please feel free to comment on how you handle suffering.  It’s a topic dear to my heart.   The related topics of grieving, dying and living are addressed in “On Grieving, Dying and Living – Quotes.”

May you experience peace and freedom from suffering!

 

Quotes


About Suffering

  • Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
    • The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.
    • You have to temper the iron.  Every hardship is an opportunity that you are given, an opportunity to grow. To grow is the sole purpose of existence on this planet Earth. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.
    • When life puts you through a tumbler, it’s your choice whether you come out polished or crushed.

    • When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best.
    • We point to our unhappy circumstances to rationalize our negative feelings. This is the easy way out. It takes, after all, very little effort to feel victimized.
  • God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open. – Hazrat Inayat Khan
  • All the world is full of suffering.  It is also full of overcoming. – Helen Keller
  • Watch a man in times of adversity to discover what kind of man he is, for then at last the words of truth are drawn from the depths of his heart, and the mask is torn off. – Lucretius, On the Nature of Things
  • Adversity introduces a man to himself. – Unknown
  • Suffering is equal to pain multiplied by resistance. – Shinzen Young
  • God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars. – Elbert Hubbard

  • There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so. – William Shakespeare
  • If a man talks of his misfortunes there is something in them that is not disagreeable to him; for where there is nothing but pure misery there never is any recourse to the mention of it. ~ Samuel Johnson
  • We, who are like senseless children, shrink from suffering, but love its causes. – Shantideva

  • Michael L. Fournier
    • Suffering is entirely our own creation. Suffering can not exist unless we create it in our own mind and give it the attention and energy to continue. Suffering is created entirely by our own thoughts.
    • Without thought there is no suffering.

    • One who has endured enough suffering will find themselves ready to strive for this state (of Pure Awareness, Consciousness) and will continue working tirelessly observing their thoughts, quieting their minds, and will continue until the ego no longer exists.
    • If you are not ready to put in this level of effort, perhaps it only means you have not suffered enough yet.
      • It is like the old man and his dog sitting on a porch. The man’s friend asks why the dog is moaning. The man replies that the dog is laying on a nail. “Why doesn’t he move?” asks the friend. The man answers “I guess it doesn’t hurt enough yet?”

The Value of Suffering

  • To have become a deeper man is the privilege of those who have suffered. – Oscar Wilde
  • Eckhart Tolle [Tolle_Suffering]
    • If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you, no humility, no compassion.
    • Suffering is most people’s only spiritual teacher and suffering deepens you.  It gradually erodes the mind made sense of self, the ego.
    • Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of the ego.
  • Suffering is a corrective to point out a lesson which by other means we have failed to grasp, and never can it be eradicated until that lesson is learnt. – Edward Bach
  • Suffering is one of life’s great teachers. – Bryant H. McGill
  • Life is rough. If it were smooth, we’d slide right through it without noticing. A bumpy ride teaches us gratitude and perspective. – Terri Guillemets
  • Blessings alone do not open our eyes. Indeed, blessings by themselves tend to close our eyes. We do not come to know Him in the blessing, but in the breaking. – Chip Brogden
  • Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. — Isak Dinesen
  • Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.  – Charles Dickens
  • Most people begin to open to their life not because there is joy, but because there is pain. – Stephen Levine [Levine, p. 34]
  • When suffering happens, it forces us to confront life in a different way than we normally do. – Philip Yancey
  • When you are suffering, you become more understanding about yourself, and also about other people’s sufferings, too.  That’s the first step to understand somebody – to understand their sufferings.  So then love follows. – Yoko Ono
  • Life smoothens the corners of a square personality into a round one that can roll. – a Korean proverb from the mother of a friend.
  • Like ocean waves to rocks, suffering seems to smoothen our rough edges. – Young, KendoNotes

The Source of Suffering

This set has grown large and is organized as follows:

  • Eckhart Tolle
  • Nisargadatta Maharaj
  • Ken Wilber
  • Patrick Wanis
  • Morty Lefkoe
  • Alfred Korzybski
  • Charlie Badenhop
  • Additional Ones
  • Eckhart Tolle:
    • Suffering begins when you mentally label a situation as bad. That causes an emotional contraction.  When you let it be, without naming it, enormous power is available to you.
    • The mental suffering you create is always some form of non-acceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is.  On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgement.  The intensity of the suffering depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.
    • [Suffering] is created out of resistance to what is.  … It comes from a thought, an interpretation – not from the situation.
    • [R]emember it’s the thoughts, your thoughts that make you suffer more than anything else.  It’s not usually the situation.  It’s your interpretation of the situation of how dreadful it all is.
  • Nisargadatta Maharaj
    • Pain is physical; suffering is mental. Beyond the mind there is no suffering. Pain is essential for the survival of the body, but none compels you to suffer.

    • Suffering is due entirely to clinging or resisting; it is a sign of our unwillingness to move on, to flow with life.

    • Selfishness is the cause of suffering. There is no other cause.  It is only with separateness and self-seeking that real suffering appears in the world.  When desire and fear end, bondage also ends.  [Maharaj_Suffering]
    • It is the emotional involvement, the pattern of likes and dislikes which we call character and temperament, that create the bondage. Do not be afraid of freedom from desire and fear. It enables you to live a life so different from all you know, so much more intense and interesting, that, truly, by losing all, you gain all. [Maharaj_Suffering]
  • Ken Wilber
    • From [Wilber_NoBoundary]
      • And it is just that understanding which is universally said to constitute liberation from all suffering. p. 49
        • Stated positively:  when it is realized that one’s self is the All, there is then nothing outside of oneself which ‘could’ inflict suffering.  There is nothing outside of the universe against which it much crash.
        • Stated negatively:  this understanding is a liberation from all suffering because it is a liberation from the notion that there is a self which ‘can’ suffer in the first place.
      • As Wei Wu Wei put it:
        • “Why are you unhappy?  Because 99.9% of everything you think, and of everything you do, is for yourself – And there isn’t one.”
    • From [Wilber_Awareness]
      • We say, “To lose face is to die of embarrassment,” and that is deeply true: we do not want to lose face! We do not want to die! We do not want, to cease the sensation of the separate-self! But that primal fear of losing face is actually the root of our deepest agony, because saving face—saving an identity with the bodymind—is the very mechanism of suffering,…
      • But when I rest in simple, clear, ever-present awareness, I lose face. Inside and outside completely disappear.  It happens just like this:
        • As I drop all objects – I am not this, not that – and I rest in the pure and simple Witness, all objects arise easily in my visual field, all objects arise in the space of the Witness. I am simply an opening or clearing in which all things arise. I notice that all things arise in me, arise in this opening or clearing that I am.
  • Patrick Wanis [Wanis_Suffering]
    • Simply put, all of our suffering derives from our relentless and crippling attempt to seek permanence or constant control in life – our inability or refusal to accept change and our battle to control things over which we have no control and are truly powerless.
      • We refuse to accept that our bodies age, that we grow old and frail, and therefore we expend so much energy trying to look young, only to find ourselves wallowing in self-loathing, misery and rejection of who we truly are. We seek to control our world and even the universe, again refusing to accept that we have no real control over our universe. We can influence our world but we cannot control it;
    • We overcome suffering when we are flexible and open; when we surrender and become fluid as water.
  • Morty Lefkoe
    • Editor note:  I highly recommend watching Lefkoe’s TEDx Talk listed below.  He describes a path to less suffering in life.
    • From [Lefkoe_Suffering]
      • Suffering is not inevitable. The Buddha recognized that it is not our pain that causes our suffering.  It is the meaning we attribute to the pain that causes our suffering. Meanings like:  I can’t do that.  My boss will be upset. They’ll laugh at me.  She’s angry with me.  I screwed up again. … Sound familiar?
      • There actually is a way to quickly and easily dissolve the meaning we unconsciously and automatically give events all day long.
      • Whenever you notice a negative emotion of any kind, ask yourself what happened just prior to the emotion and what is the meaning you gave that event that caused the emotion.  Then make a clear distinction between the event and the meaning you gave it.  That’s it. 
      • As soon as you get that the meaning is not part of the event, that it is only in your mind, it will dissolve.  And as soon as it dissolves, any negative emotions it had caused will disappear instantaneously.  And when the emotions disappear, your suffering stops.
    • From [Lefkoe_TEDTalk]
      • Attributing meaning (to events) causes upset and suffering. (9:08)
        • Suffering comes from the meaning you give events. (10:47)
        • All meaning exists only in our minds, not in the world. (6:58)
        • Events have no inherent meaning. (7:03)
        • Dissolve your meaning (given to events) and stop your suffering. (6:13min mark)
      • It’s important to distinguish between suppressing feelings and dissolving the meaning that causes a feeling. 
        • Suppressing a feeling is having a feeling and pressing it down – keeping yourself from knowing that you’re actually having a feeling.
        • That’s very different than dissolving the meaning that causes the feeling because when you do that, feeling disappears.  There’s nothing left to suppress.
      • Editor notes:
        • I love his example starting at 7:45 of three ways a person could feel about rain in the evening:  nothing, pain (because of an open air wedding the next day) or joy (because rain on the wedding day is good luck in that person’s culture).
        • And the example of his friend Josh Maroney who turned the mundane job of photocopying to an interesting one. (9:18).
        • The directions to distinguish meanings from events starts at 11:12.
        • It is probably important to point out the value of living with a sense of meaning and purpose as put forth by Dr. Viktor Frankl and that Lefkoe appears to be neutalizing the emotional drama that the mind might create when events occur.
        • A reviewer’s comment pointed out similarities of this with the work of Albert Korzybski and General Semantics from the 1930’s.
  • Alfred Korzybski from [Korzybski_Science]
    • The map is not the territory, it is a representation of the territory and useful in so far as it corresponds to the territory.
    • Comment by Dr. Peter Davies in an Amazon Review:  “The book is the great statement of non-identity – the description of a thing or process is not the thing or process itself.”
  • Charlie Badenhop from [Badenhop_Suffering]
    • When we don’t understand our essence we misrepresent and distort all who we meet and all we encounter, and thus we suffer.
    • When we’re at peace with who we are we’re not attached to winning or losing, succeeding or failing. When we’re not attached to the results we achieve, our body stays relaxed, we breathe freely and easily, and we think less. Quieting the thinking mind leads to intuitive action. Intuitive action leads to living calmness. When we don’t think we don’t know. When we don’t know, we learn from everything.
      • I want to be careful to not give thinking a “bad name” here. Thinking is necessary and can of course also add to the quality of our life.
      • The crucial point to consider is whether or not you’re able to think while remaining calm.
  • Additional Ones
    • Attachment leads to suffering. – Buddha
    • All the suffering, stress, and addition comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for. – Jon Kabat-Zinn
    • Most people wish they could erase suffering out of the dictionary. Today’s culture of comfort and instant gratification has no patience for suffering – most people want to drug it, escape it, divorce it; do anything but live with it. – Joni Eareckson Tada
    • The reason you experience suffering is because of the illusion of separation (from the absolute). – one of my teachers.

The Truth Behind Suffering

  • Every flower must grow through dirt. – Proverb
  • Rumi:
    • The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
    • O Seeker, pain and suffering make one aware of God.
    • What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle.
  • Buddha
    • If the problem can be solved, why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good.
    • Nothing is forever except change.
  • All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for. –  Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • Suffering is a call for inquiry, all pain needs investigation. – Nasargadatta Maharaj
  • We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. – Author Unknown
  • Suffering is a signal.  …  (I)t alerts us to the fact that we are not being aware of what we really are. – Robert Thurman from “Fear the Right Thing”
  • (I)f you really look into that, you can find out for yourself that behind the pain there is always something we are attached to. There is always something we’re holding on to. – Pema Chodron from “The Answer to Anger & Aggression is Patience.”
  • Again and again we cry “I can bear no more!” — that is the human of us. And again and again we bear more, — that is the god of us. – Muriel Strode (1875–1964), A Soul’s Faring, 1921
  • If you are suffering, I can assure you, that you either ‘share’ your suffering with others or you have an on-going ‘conversation’ in your mind where you ‘discuss’ how good you are and how the other person is ‘wrong,’ and has treated you badly. Even feeling guilty and seeing yourself as’wrong,’ is still the need to be ‘right.’ – A Course in Miracles

  • There was a time centuries ago when children often died at a young age and when people died at a younger age.  Our expectations have changed. – A rationale elderly man that I met recently who suggested that I read up on history.

On Handling Suffering

  • My definition of healing is: coming to terms with things as they are. – Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • Eckhart Tolle:
    • From [Tolle_Problems]
      • Fulfill me, make me happy, make me feel safe, tell me who I am.  The world cannot give you those things, and when you no longer have such expectations, all self created suffering comes to an end.
      • And so when you see that, you see that there is another way to live in which I no longer mentally argue with what is.  And that’s the end of self-inflicted suffering.
      • You can always be free at this moment simply by entering the state of presence.
    • Suffering needs time.  It cannot survive in the now.
    • Much suffering, much unhappiness arises when you take each thought that comes into your head for the truth.
    • The ego says, I shouldn’t have to suffer, and that thought makes you suffer so much more.
      • The paradox is that suffering is caused by identification with form and erodes identification with form.  A lot of it is caused by the ego, although eventually suffering destroys the ego – but not until you suffer consciously.
    • It may look as if the situation is creating the suffering, but ultimately this is not so – your resistance is.
    • You don’t need to suffer anymore.  You’ve suffered enough to take you to this point where you hear the words, “You don’t need to suffer anymore,” and you understand them.  You recognize their truth and you then can see that you do have a choice that you can surrender to the suchness of now, which means every moment to relinquish resistance and if it still arises, to recognize it.
    • After having been lost in the world, suddenly, through the pressure of suffering, the realization comes that the answers may not be found out there in worldly attainment and in the future.  That’s an important point for many people to reach.  That sense of deep crisis – when the world as they have known it, and the sense of self that they have known that is identified with the world, become meaningless.
  • Peter Cutler [Cutler] :
    • I experience thoughts as thoughts. I no longer mistake them for reality. And this is why I live free from thoughts. And freedom from thoughts is freedom from suffering.
    • If any experience of suffering, no matter how subtle, should arise, I open to it fully without resistance. It always leads back to a thought.
    • There is very strong conditioning to experience thoughts as more than thoughts, to experience thoughts as reality, as truth, or at least as “my truth”.  And there is great resistance to accept that ALL suffering comes only from these thoughts that are believed as truth.  It seems that most of us would rather continue suffering, no matter how bad that suffering is, than accept 1) that thoughts are just thoughts, not reality, and 2) that ALL suffering is created by these thoughts mistaken for reality.
    • When our addiction (to and beliefs in thoughts) is very strong, as it is in most people, we are not yet ready to surrender this addiction. We must hit bottom first. That is the reason for suffering. That is the gift of suffering. It helps us hit bottom. For most of us it is necessary to hit bottom before we are ready to give up such an entrenched and reinforced addiction.
  • Ranjneesh (Osho) [Osho_Suffering]
    • Whatsoever falls upon you, accept it. It is your fate, it is how life is, and nothing can be done about it.  If you take this attitude, there is no choosing. You have become choiceless. And when you are choiceless, you will become aware of yourself, because now you are not worried about what happens, so you not outgoing.  You are not worried about what is happening around you. Whatsoever happens you will enjoy it, you will live it, you will go through it, you will experience it, …
    • If there is really no suffering you will be poor for it, because suffering gives you depth. A man who has not suffered will always remain on the surface. Suffering gives you depth. Really, if there is no suffering you will be saltless. You will be nothing, just a boring phenomenon. Suffering gives you tone, a keenness. A quality comes to you which only suffering can give, which no happiness can give.
      • A man who has remained always in happiness, in comfort, who has not suffering, will not have any tone. He will be just a lump of being. There cannot be any depth. Really, there cannot be any heart. The heart is created through suffering; through pain you evolve.
    • (I)f there is too much pain you fall unconscious.
  • The sages describe a Way that leads to a higher level of existence, one infinitely more desirable than the level on which most people conduct their lives. The mystical tradition does not offer therapy in the usual sense of that word, but achieving the goal of mysticism – experiencing the Real Self – is said to cure human suffering because its very basis is thereby removed. – Arthur J. Deikman [Deikman]
  • The answer to your problem is to see who has it. – Ramana Maharshi
  • Most of our tensions and frustrations stem from the compulsive need to act the role of someone we are not. – Dr. Hans Selye
  • Love life and life will love you back. – Arthur Rubinstein
  • When you have made good friends with yourself, your situation will be more friendly, too. – Pema Chodron [Chodron_Apart, p.7]
  • Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’. Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning.
  • The hope to see my wife and children again one day kept me going. – An Elderly Vietnamese I met who managed to survive many years in a prison camp.
  • If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it.  … I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it. – Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • Do not wish for an easy life, wish for the strength to endure a difficult one. – Bruce Lee
  • Joni Eareckson Tada
    • My weakness, that is, my quadriplegia, is my greatest asset because it forces me into the arms of Christ every single morning when I get up.

    • I had to be healed of my desire to be healed.
    • Yes, I pray that my pain might be removed, that it might cease; but more so, I pray for the strength to bear it, the grace to benefit from it, and the devotion to offer it up to God as a sacrifice of praise.
  • I started seeing difficult times with ‘thanks’ to this hardship instead of ‘because’ of this hardship. – Sunny Kim after nearly losing her husband to a serious illness (in Korean at 7:55min of [Sebasi_Sunny] )
    • 어려울 때 아! ‘때문에’라고 생각을 하지 말고 ‘덕분에’로 제가 인생을 보기 시작했습니다. – 김성희
  • We all yearn for what we have lost.  But sometimes, we forget what we have. – Mitch Albom
  • It is our thinking that puts fences up that block the natural flow of the universe from coming into our lives. We then experience this version of our thinking in our life.  Pull up the fences and let go of the resistance. Trust in the universe that created everything that you can see (and not see). – Tracy Webb [Trans4mind_Awareness]
  • Let go and let God.
  • Not My will, but Yours be done. – Jesus, Luke 22:42.
  • I saw Jesus in my husband. – A lady I know who had cared for and nursed her bed-ridden husband mostly on her own for several years until he passed away.
  • Must you continue to be your own cross? No matter which way God leads you, you change everything into bitterness by constantly brooding over everything. For the love of God, replace all this self-scrutiny with a pure and simple glance at God’s goodness. –Saint Jeanne Chantal


On Healing

  • Pema Chodron [Chodron_Apart]
    • We think that the point is to pass the test or to over come the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. … The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. p. 8
    • When we think that something is going to bring us pleasure, we don’t know what’s really going to happen.  When we think something is going to give us misery, we don’t know.  Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. … When there’s a big disapointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story.  It may be just the beginning of a great adventure. p. 8

Surrender vs. Giving Up – Distinctions

  • Tim Custis [Custis_Surrender]
    • The difference between giving up and surrender is the difference between suffering (giving up) and being at peace (surrender).  It is the difference between being lost and finding your way.
    • Giving Up:  Implies a lack of action, Is resistance to what is, Says no to life (you curl up into a ball on the bed), Fuels your suffering, Moves you away from God.
    • Surrender:  Requires action, Is acceptance of what is, Says yes to life (you hold your arms wide open ready to receive), Fuels your happiness, Move you closer to God.

  • Mara Tolas [Tolas_Surrender]
    • To give up, is to stop believing. It is admitting you do not care about the outcome. Surrendering is caring about the outcome, while acknowledging you do not control the process, and ceasing your resistance.
  • Tanya Carroll Richardson [Richardson_Surrender]
    • Surrender feels peaceful and is often accompanied by a sense of relief, and giving up feels hopeless and like a defeat.
    • Surrender feels moderate or balanced, and giving up feels extreme or intense.

    • Surrender is admitting that you might not have all the answers and there could be another way, and giving up shuts down new possibilities.

    • Surrender invites the universe to bring grace, new people, and new opportunities into your life, and giving up can block some of the flow of new things into your life.

  • Nneka [Nneka_Surrender]
    • When you surrender, you are calm, …, you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
    • When you give up, you are exasperated, …, you delve into the depths of despair.

Resources


References

[Badenhop_Suffering] Charlie Badenhop, “It’s Your Thinking That Leads to Your Suffering,” Trans4mind.com.

[Chodron_Apart] Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart:  Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Shambhala Classics, 2000.

[Custis_Surrender] Tim Custis, “Surrender vs. Giving Up,” TimCustis.com, Nov 5, 2012.

[Cutler] Peter Cutler, “Freedom from Thoughts = Freedom from Suffering,” July 18, 2017, N-lightenment.com.

[Deikman] Arthur J. Deikman, “Observing Self: Mysticism and Psychotherapy,” deikman.com.

[Jo_KendoJidai]  “Players comment:  JY Jo (Korea),” Kendo Jidai International, Oct 23, 2018.

[Kornfield] Jack Kornfield, “Guided Meditations for Difficult Times: A Lamp in the Darkness,”

[Komarow] Pat Komarow, “A Story of Impermanence from the Buddha,” RockyMountainInsight.org.

[Korzybski_Science] Alfred Korzybski, Science and Sanity: An Introduction to Non-Aristotelian Systems and General Semantics, Institute of General Dynamics, 1st ed 1933, 5th ed 1994.

[Lefkoe_Suffering] Morty Lefkoe, “I spoke at TEDx: How to stop suffering,” MortyLefkoe.com, July 2, 2013.

[Lefkoe_TEDTalk] Morty Lefkoe, “How to Stop Suffering:  Morty Lefkoe at TEDxHoboken,” TEDx Talk, Sept 7, 2013 (19:17 mins)

[Levine] Stephen Levine, Who Dies? – An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying, Anchor Books, 1982.

[Maharaj_Suffering] “Some quotes from Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj,” An End to Suffering Blog, Aug 2, 2006.

[Nneka_Surrender] Nneka, 3 Differences Between Surrendering and Giving Up,” WorkingMystic.com, Aug 21, 2007.

[Osho_Suffering] hackspirit, “A Zen Master explains the best way to deal with suffering (and why it will make you a better person),” HackSpirit, Oct 21, 2017.

[Richardson_Surrender] Tanya Carroll Richardson, “How to Know If You’re Surrendering Or Giving Up (And Why It Matters),” MindBodyGreen, Sept 14, 2017.

[Sebasi_Sunny]  (Kor, Eng) 세바시 437회 인생은 뜻대로 되지 않습니다만 | 김성희 Voices from Oxford 대표 The 15 Minutes No. 437 – Life doesn’t flow as you expect but… Dr Sung Hee Kim | Director of Voices from Oxford, University of Oxford (17:57 mins)

[Tolas_Surrender] Mara Tolas, “Surrendering vs. Giving up,” OneStrideForward.com, May 29, 2019.

[Tolle_Problems] Eckhart Tolle, “All problems are illusions of the mind,” (9:34 mins).

[Tolle_Suffering] Eckhart Tolle, “The End of Suffering,” (5:14 mins), Mar 17, 2019.

[Trans4mind_Awareness] Tracy Webb, “Living in Awareness,” Trans4mind.com.

[Wanis_Suffering] Patrick Wanis, “How to Handle & Overcome Suffering,” Jul 18, 2012.

[Wilber_Awareness] Ken Wilber, “Always Already:  The Brilliant Clarity of Ever-Present Awareness, Integral Life, Dec 10, 2016.

[Wilber_NoBoundary] Ken Wilber, No Boundary – Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth, Shambhala, 2001.

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